A Letter To My Husband

Dear Dave,

Have I told you lately how happy you make me? You do. I count my blessings every single day that you love me. I've known for many years that you are an exceptional man, but there are still things you do that surprise me.

You bought me a new outfit to go out for your birthday. I love that you picked out clothes that you thought would make me feel pretty. They did.

You embrace being a dad and when I notice your patience is running short, I can say a simple sentence and you let go a smile. It's so clear that you love your family. Your love of family starts with your parents, especially your mom. You make time to see her, spending time and calling her just to talk.

You volunteer your time in our community and practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis. Whether it's helping someone push their stalled car out of an intersection or searching for a dog on a leash without it's person, you take the time to do the right thing.

There are so many things I can write on and on about. The consideration you express for your coworkers when in social situations, the way you think to arrange play dates for Mason, how you stop along the side of the road to cut wild sweet peas for me, and one of my favorites, the way other people see you look at me. I've been told on numerous occasions that people can see how much you love me.

Today, I want to say that I love you, too. More than I love you, I respect you. It sounds so cliche to say, "I married my best friend." But sometimes, cliche is simply the truth.

With all my love,
Kathy

America Is Alive And Well - By Guest Writer Jay Kliewer

America is alive and well. I was awakened last night from a late nap, approximately 8:00 PM, by a helicopter flying overhead in a large circular pattern and repeatedly saying something. After six passes and with the help of my roommate, I finally made out the message, “There is a 3 year old child missing wearing a green shirt with red and white stripes. He is wearing a diaper and his name is Daniel.”

What I saw as I came out to the front yard and as I walked down my road was the most incredible thing. People had come out of their houses and were walking, running, driving, and I even saw one guy on roller skates looking for Daniel. Moms with young kids, families, teenagers, and single people were all looking for Daniel.

So why were we out there? Honestly . . . I was out there because if I could help those parents look for Daniel then that is what I wanted to do. I know that if that had been a three year old Jhasamin or Jeremiah, I would want other people looking for them. I also think I wanted to partake in something larger. Be a part of something bigger than myself. I didn’t want to sit home when I was needed and there was something I could give. Maybe in a strange way I also wanted to be seen, as if to say, "Look at me, I am helping too."

By 8:40 pm just as abruptly as it started the helicopter made two big circles and said, “Thank you for your help. The child has been found.”

Recently I had an opportunity to take a four man delegation of Nigerian FEMA leaders around to various organizations in the Sacramento and San Francisco areas to show them how Californians respond to disasters. They said their overall problem in Nigeria with regards to disasters is APATHY. What an awesome thought to know that America is not a Country of Apathy. And just like our fore fathers, those many years ago, whom were willing to make a difference with their fellow man to fight for independence, that same spirit still flows through our veins today as we came together to look for a child that no one knew. Daniel’s parents will never know that a 40 year old man got up from his nap and spent a half hour looking for their child.

As Vincent, one of the Nigerian delegates was being dropped off at the San Francisco Airport he told me that people in Nigeria were praying for America. Well Vincent your prayers are being heard and thank you.

God has Blessed the USA with the men, women, and children who live here!

Join Me And Win!

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Happily Married

As you all know by now, Dave and I are very happily married. I know several other couples that are also very happy and they express their affection openly and abundantly. I asked Dave if he thought we were happy because we tell each other how we feel, and generally focus on being so.

We agreed that being happy is a choice. There are certainly things about each other that are mildly annoying, but it just seems that those things come along with a really great package, thus making them insignificant.

Here again, is evidence that those things you choose to focus on, grow. We focus on the things about each other that we first loved, learned about later and loved, and still have to find out about and expect to love. What about you? What do you choose to focus on in your marriage? I wish for you love and happiness!

The All American "Staycation"

Finally! They have created a name for how average folks spend their time off. I have to chuckle because Dave and I seem to be on the go a lot, but we're rarely far from home. We may be in Sonora, San Francisco, Truckee, Reno, maybe Las Vegas or Anaheim, and anyone I know would consider these trips vacations. I think the people who live in higher income brackets tend to really vacation, like in the form of a week or more at a time, getting on an airplane, needing a passport, and plenty of spending money along the way. We find so much joy in our little jaunts near home.

Not long ago, Dave had to leave for Millbrae, CA for a retention seminar for work. Since Mason is between preschool and kindergarten, we decided to tag along. For Mason, the hotel is the vacation! When I told him we were going with Dave, he immediately got excited, "Ma-ma, ma-ma, are we going to stay in a hotel?"
I nodded.

"Will the hotel have movies on the TV?" he went on.
"Yep." I replied.
"Will there be a bath tub in the bathroom?" He looked at me with big hopeful eyes.
"Ah, yeah..." That one was odd, we have two bath tubs at home.
"Yay!" he danced around the kitchen into the living room. "A bath tub! A bath tub!"
Whatever! I thought.
"Ma-ma, ma-ma, will there be a swimming pool at the hotel?" Mason continued.
"Yes." I answered.
"A bath tub and a swimming pool! Hooray! I love you ma-ma!" Mason crooned as he wrapped himself around my legs and squeezed and kissed with all his might. Yes, he kissed my legs. After all, why wouldn't he? We're treating him to a bath tub and a swimming pool!

What do you have in your life that you take for granted? I clearly have two bath tubs that seem like everyday fare. When in fact, from a child's point of view, a bath tub away from home ranks right up there with a swimming pool! I have to say, I agree with Mason, when I'm away from home, I like to have a bath tub, too...one I don't have to clean before I use it!

For more really fun stuff, check out http://www.momcentral.com/ (@momcentral on twitter). Also visit http://www.clorox.com/ for information on getting the cleanest bath tub possible at home!

"I'm A Yes Man!" - Guest Writer Amie Chilson

On my 32nd birthday I found myself stuck on the JFK tarmac for two extra hours due to a weather delay, en route to Madrid. After playing the, “It’s my birthday” card with the flight attendants, scoring a few free mini bottles of wine, I sat back and started the solo movie marathon on my way over the Atlantic: it was “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey.

If you haven’t seen it yet…go rent it today! Through its silliness and moments of expected Jim Carey hilarity, the underlying message struck a chord with me. Carey plays a middle-aged, loan officer who leads an unextraordinary life and is accustomed to saying “no” to everything. He’s begun to alienate friends, never moves ahead in his career, and has developed a bad habit of closing himself off to life and all its opportunities. After attending a self-help seminar where attendees make a covenant to say “Yes” to everything…and anything, his life begins to transform in amazing and unexpected ways.

At face value, this flick is a predictably fun, brand of 90-minute, Jim Carey comedy. (And anyone who knows me knows I shy away from the Hollywood drool of endless, formulaic films!) Yet, I chose to watch the film 2.5 times and laughed like an idiot throughout–but why? Because I am “Yes Man” and have recently built my lifestyle around this value system.

2008 was a tough year for me in several ways; I buried two grandmothers, closed both my companies down, and nearly went bankrupt. I retreated into my metaphorical cave and shut down to most of the world. At the end of the year I vowed to make 2009 incredible and milk the most out of every day, while being open to the universe and all it had to offer. I created a “101 Things To Do in 2009” list, naming items as simple as: sampling more international cheeses, indulging in a house cleaner, and reading the Declaration of Independence, to more loftier goals such as visiting Thailand, completing my scuba certification and hiking the Grand Canyon. (The list was easier to develop than I thought…which means subconsciously lurking were all these things I’ve always wanted to experience, learn, and try!) Never again did I want to waste a year, and look back regretfully to say, “Damn, I didn’t do any of the things I wanted to accomplish! Where did the year go? And how utterly unremarkable it was…”

Since I made that covenant with myself at the end of 2008, my life has been purely magical! I recently took my husband on a wonderful month-long vacation to Spain where most of our lodging across the country was free; I’ve been invited to vacation in Fiji , Mexico , and India to study with a renowned Guru. Business opportunities have flooded my gates, I’ve met many new people and made wonderful friends, I find myself in great health and training for one of the hardest Triathlons nationwide, and I live each day with such zest and fascination. Sometimes it feels as if I’ve lived 3 days to the actual 1. As for the 101 List of To Do Items… I’ve been happily knocking them down by the dozens, and even created an ancillary 101 List!

What I’ve learned about myself during this 6-month experiment of saying “Yes to Life” is when I embrace being ‘open’, I expect something good to happen every time and it does. Being authentically ‘open’ also has forced me to become more empathic, less selfish, and more compassionate to others. It’s removed the ability to go through life ‘half-ass’ which is an easy to rut to fall into. We become busy, get comfortable, and even ease into laziness. (I know I did!) The good news is it is simple to pull ourselves out of the “No” coma. It’s as easy as saying “Yes” to little things, like smiling back at a stranger, answering an Unknown Caller ID phone call, or meeting your inbox of Evites with hopefulness vs. impatience.

In the movie, “Yes Man”, Carey changes his life in a matter of weeks and welcomes many new life experiences, people, and opportunities. In addition to falling in love, he gets promoted in his career, reconnects with his friends and inspires many different individuals. His unremarkable life has radically transformed, and he is a happier man for it. Carey also learns there is such a thing as ‘balance’ to strike in life with being constantly open to life and opportunities.

And that balance is important to keep in mind, as agreeing to all things is unreasonable and potentially dangerous. As I find myself mentally and verbally saying, “Yes” to most opportunities that flow my way, I still exercise instinct, fiscal prudence and my own version of life harmony. I will ignore the invite to pierce my nipples, not join a cult, and not invest all my money in what resembles a Ponzi scheme.

What I will do, is wake up tomorrow morning and breathe in the delicious moment of NOW, and energetically say “Yes” to what life has to offer me because I know it will be fantastic! I suggest you try it: who knows, the next “Yes” you say could lead to meeting the person of your dreams, making a new best friend, drop the next incredible business opportunity in your lap, or inspire your biggest idea ever.

Be a “Yes Man” with me.

http://myexistentialmusings.wordpress.com

Much Gratitude,
Amie Chilson

Happy Father's Day!

I know it's a day late, but Dad can use an extra day of appreciation. What did you do for your dad over the weekend? My dad passed a few years ago, but I have Dave's dad to honor. I don't know if he knows how much I appreciate him. He's been more like a father to me in the last eight years than my own dad was my whole life. I'm not putting my dad down, he did the best he could. He just didn't have great people skills and the best he had, he used on people who were not his family.

Dave's Dad has been a wonderful friend. We've talked about issues Dave and I went through, he was very supportive while Dave was in Iraq, and he's always putting forth a little extra effort when it comes to keeping in touch with Mason. I'm so lucky to have a father-in-law like Emil Partak. Happy Father's Day!

And for those of you who plan to comment, I know there's a boob-shot here. What better gift can we give the men in our lives? Laughing!